In most of the other countries that we’ve been to, it was either relatively easy to tour a city on foot or taxis were suitably cheap.  Unfortunately, South Africa is both sprawling and comparatively expensive and now that we’ve been living here, our transportation standards have changed.  I’m no longer willing to walk the 35 minutes each way to the beach with a 7″ surf board in hand.  Within our first two weeks in this country, we quickly realized that a car would a necessity.

Renting proved to be far too expensive for the 3 months that we wanted the vehicle for, and leasing vehicles is simply unheard of in South Africa.  There were a few dealers that would sell a new vehicle with buyback guarantees, but it required a tremendous up front investment.  The only realistic option, I decided, was to find  a beater of a car that had some resale value so I could recoup most of my costs.

That’s when I met the Beast - 1.7 glorious metric tons of gold and vinyl shrouded German steel.

The Beast

At the time, purchasing this 1988 Mercedes Benz 200 seemed like a great idea.  There aren’t a lot of cars you can find in the US or South Africa for R12,000 (equal to $1,600 at the time), and it showed less than 200,000 km on the odometer.  Plus, Mercedes is known for making cars that last.  What could possibly go wrong?

The Mechanic
The guy who sold me the vehicle was a mechanic, and claimed he had been maintaining the vehicle for its only owner for the past 20 years.  He was a friend of a friend, so I was inclined to believe him.  He also said he would ensure the vehicle passed inspection or cover any costs associated with getting the vehicle past inspection.

It took him 2 months and plenty of harassing on my end to finally get the Beast in road worthy condition.  When we were finally sitting down to sign the ownership transfer papers, I discover the cars records indicated the car was actually a 1981 vehicle.  Oops.

The Bureaucracy
All foreigners that purchase automobiles in South Africa are required to acquire a Traffic Registration Number with the Motor Licensing Board.  This effectively provides the government with an ID which can link the vehicle to your passport.  Time wasted: 4 hrs

In my first attempt to transfer ownership, the MLB official declared that the Beast’s logbook and papers were outdated.  Therefore I had to go to the police station, have an officer examine the serial number etched in the chassis and verify that the car hadn’t been stolen.  After that, I had to send the verification off to the provincial capital to get a new logbook authorized.  Time wasted: 6 hrs

Two weeks later, I finally got confirmation that a new logbook had been issued and I would be permitted to wait in yet another queue and have the Beast formally be placed under my ownership. Time wasted: 3 hrs

The Economy
By the time the Beast was officially mine, we would only have 2 weeks remaining in South Africa, which meant I had to pretty much sell it immediately.  With the time crunch, I was forced to accept the first offer I got - an unfortunate R8,000.  The kicker is that while the US economy had been sliding, the South African economy had been in a free fall, and the exchange rate had gone from 7.6 (when I first purchased the Beast) to 10.2 Rand to the Dollar.  After the ordeal, I had recovered a meager $784.

I suppose it could have been worse, but I’m having difficulty imagining exactly how.